Dr. Erin Hayford [00:00:20]:
Hi, everyone, and welcome to the Sacred Illness podcast.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:00:23]:
I'm your host, Dr. Erin Hayford.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:00:24]:
And to other we're going to explore how illness is not a roadblock to the rest of your life, but rather an invitation to reclaim your whole, vibrant self. Before we begin today's episode, just my standard medical disclaimer. This podcast is intended for educational and informational purposes only. The content should not be considered a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional regarding any medical concerns.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:00:51]:
Everyone, and welcome to this episode. That's all about paradigms. Today we're going to talk about what is a paradigm? Why do they matter? How do they get in our way when it comes to everything in life, but especially in the healing journey? And why did I decide to bust out of the normal paradigm when it comes to health and healing that eventually led me to my own complete remission of my quote unquote incurable illness? Stick around. Let's delve into it. First and foremost, what is a paradigm? A paradigm is a construct that shapes our beliefs about the world and how the world works. And I use the word construct purposefully because it really is something that is constructed. It's something that is built and made by us as we move through life. So very early on, we start constructing our paradigm by the events that happen in childhood, our caregivers and their belief systems, how they behave, the things we're exposed to culturally, societally, socially, et cetera.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:01:44]:
So we kind of collect this quote unquote, evidence from the world about, okay, this is what the world means, and this is how I'm supposed to behave. And if I do this, this happens. So therefore, that is bad or that is good. And we're creating this worldview, this way of being in the world that begins to feel very true and real. So a paradigm starts to become identity, right? It's how we start to identify with the world. It's how we show up in the world, and it becomes this guide for us, for how we move through the world. Based on my paradigm, this is what I believe. This is what I know to be true.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:02:15]:
This is how I behave. This is the work that I do. These are the relationships I'm in. This is how I live my daily life and so on and so forth. Since it's a collection of assumptions and theories that we have gathered based on our interactions with the world that, again, create our entire reality and our basis for how we exist on this planet, generally speaking, paradigms are not a bad thing, right? We all need some way of making sense of the world and a way of showing up in the world and being in the world. And so these paradigms we create make these kind of guardrails for us about, okay, this is the life I live. This is the lane I'm in. This is how it all works.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:02:52]:
Our nervous system really likes that because our nervous system is wired to move us toward things that feel safe. And to the nervous system, safety is equivalent with familiarity. So whatever we can predict, whatever we know, whatever we've experienced or seen firsthand or we've moved through it or whatever it is that is familiar to the nervous system. And so paradigms become reinforced by the nervous system by saying, oh, yeah, you know everything about this particular political party. So we're going to stick with this one because this one's familiar. We know what it's like. We know who the people are. I am going to stick with this job because even though maybe this job doesn't feel super good, I know how to do it.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:03:33]:
It's familiar. I know what to expect. I'm going to stick with this kind of relationship because this person is predictable. I know what to expect from them. I know how to show up. I know who I am in this relationship. I'm going to live where I live because it's familiar. It's known, right? So we can see how when we are used to something, when we're exposed to a certain kind of belief system, like politics or some sort of work or some sort of way of relating with other folks, some place of living, when it's where we are and what we're exposed to and what we're entrenched in, it's very familiar, and therefore it's very safe.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:04:10]:
And so any decision or thought or impulse or desire or curiosity, et cetera, of moving outside of that paradigm, exploring something else, doing something different, engaging in the world in a different way, can be perceived as a threat to the nervous system. Because the opposite of safety is threat. The opposite of familiar is unfamiliar. So anytime we want to or think we want to or again, are curious about moving outside of our paradigm, which I guess we could also call the comfort zone, alarm bells get set off within our bodies. We are immediately faced with a ton of fear, a ton of doubts, a ton of reasons why staying with what's familiar is the quote, unquote best choice for us. Really frustrating, especially if we have a certain dream or desire or hope or whatever it is that is not in our paradigm. It's something that is naturally kind of pushing the edges of our paradigm, and it's stretching us to step outside of that comfort zone. But that paradigm can be so limiting and so fear based, or it can bring up so much fear that even when we're presented with really compelling evidence, really maybe deep, intuitive knowing, or just like, all the signs, or just really strong evidence that this other thing that's not in our paradigm is a really good choice and would be really good for us, we can often ignore it, explain it away, find ways to kind of diminish it or dumb it down to stay in our paradigm, because, again, that is more safe.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:05:42]:
So it's really common for us to, again, see and know that a different path might be better for us, but it can be very hard to choose that path or very hard to stay on that path because of the immense amount of resistance that's going to rise up inside of us as we try to break outside of that paradigm. When there's a lot of resistance inside our bodies, when there's a lot of fear, when there's a lot of. It's almost like this lion roaring up inside of us, this big response of, like, no, don't do that. It's really hard sometimes to tease apart what is fear, what is nervous system kind of trying to protect me versus what is really real, what is really true for me, what is really the best path for me. So that can become a very confusing part when we try to bust out of our paradigm and break down new walls or make a new path for ourselves, because those two kind of conflicting voices are both very strong, and it can be hard to know which one to listen to. So back when I was practicing more conventionally, when I first graduated naturopathic medicine school, I practiced as a more conventional doctor, prescribing medications and supplements and doing labs and having this kind of more. I think of it as, like, more of a surface exchange with people where I would see a symptom and I would work it up and I would give them a diagnosis and then treat that symptom. Right.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:07:02]:
It was this symptom management, symptom treatment kind of layer of medicine that I was practicing. And while it was still holistic and natural in the sense that I wasn't always doing medications and I was doing a lot of lifestyle work with folks, it was still symptom management. I wasn't getting deeper into why was that symptom happening in the first place? And so after years and years of practicing in that way, I started to become a little disillusioned with the work that I was doing, because back when I was in school was when I first really started studying mind body medicine and getting really interested in how our mind and our nervous system influences our body and our health. And that was my passion. I was really intrigued by that. And honestly, that is, studying that modality and pursuing the work within the realms of mind body medicine is what led to the cessation of my own incurable illness. So when I went on that healing journey, that was a major paradigm shift for me, because all I had ever known was this conventional world where I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease, which is an autoimmune condition. I was given, the prognosis of, this is incurable.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:08:12]:
It's never going to go away. It's going to get worse. You're probably facing surgery. You have to take these medications for the rest of your life. And that was it. That was what I was given, right? And it was like, take your medications every day, and that's your story. But I did not accept that. I was not willing to accept that that was going to be my destiny.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:08:31]:
And I often say I don't really know what it was in that moment in my life that kind of allowed me to have that tenacity, to deny that that was my future. Because my paradigm at the time was, you get a diagnosis, you take your medications, and that's the end of the story, right? But there was something inside of me that pushed against that paradigm and said, this isn't it. This is not it. This can't be it for you. And I will often joke, maybe I'm stubborn or maybe I was in denial, but really, I think what it was was there was something deeply intuitive inside of me that came alive in that moment when I was diagnosed that put me on this different path. And I'm so grateful that it did, because this is why I'm here, because of my own journey that I went through, busting that paradigm down and finding the path that I needed to get on to heal my own body. Now, this is my work. This is why I'm here.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:09:24]:
I talk about this in an effort to kind of spread awareness about what else is possible outside of the typical medical paradigm. And so I like to always be sort of seeing things from both sides kind of person. I'm a peacemaker, if you're familiar with the enneagram. But I'm always wanting to be fair, right? And I don't think of the medical paradigm as inherently evil or bad. I think that there is a time and a place for the way that our current medical paradigm regime, whatever practices medicine, sometimes medications, even surgeries, can be holistic in that they are what is needed to help a person feel better, to manage symptoms, to feel functional enough so that deeper work can be done. But generally speaking, if we think about the treatment spectrum as a ladder, right? So down here at the bottom would be like lifestyle stuff and the mind body work that I do, what's your paradigm? What's your stress levels? What's your family situation? What is happening in your world that might be influencing your health? Also, what's your history of trauma? All these things that can be at the bottom of the ladder? Plus, how are you sleeping and are you eating enough and are you moving your body in ways that bring you joy and drinking water, et cetera? That's the baseline stuff. Oftentimes in the medical world, we climb up like five rungs to medications, right? And then we climb up, or we climb up to surgery, or we climb up to suppressive treatments that are just kind of skipping all of that lower levels, but foundational level stuff and just skipping right to the, let's just get rid of the symptoms so you can get back to work, which is, I guess, fine, right, if that is your goal. But for folks who are here listening to this podcast or wherever you might be consuming this media, there's often this feeling like I had of like, really? That's it? That's the option.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:11:21]:
Because that doesn't feel good. It doesn't feel enough. It doesn't feel sufficient. And that paradigm, again, is sort of a one size fits all, which is saying, everyone who has this illness takes this treatment, and that's the plan and that's the prognosis. But it's not considering all of the nuances that make up an individual human. And so when I went on my healing journey, I was busting down this paradigm every step of the way. I was saying, no, I don't accept this diagnosis, or I don't accept the prognosis. The diagnosis was correct.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:11:53]:
I had Crohn's disease. But the prognosis of, you're going to have it for the rest of your life, you're going to have to take medications, you're going to have to have surgery. I refuse to let that be in my future. And then, lo and behold, it never was. I have yet to have surgery. I don't take medications. I just work on my lifestyle foundational stuff, my mind, body and lifestyle stuff. And that's how I maintain my health.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:12:15]:
So I had to work to bust out of that paradigm. And it was difficult. There's no two ways about it. When we are busting out of a paradigm, again, we're met with a lot of fear and resistance. Lord knows I was met with so much resistance from concerned well meaning and concerned family members and medical professionals and even those in the holistic realm. Often there's just a lot of pushback when you're saying, I'm not going to do it that way. I'm pursuing a different path. I'm going to follow my intuition, I'm going to follow my gut and see where this leads me.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:12:49]:
And again, all that reason, that outside resistance and my inner fear, that's honestly why I, my journey took as long as it did, because I was doing it on my own and I was kind of piecemealing it together, trying to figure out the steps. And I was scared a lot of the time. A lot of the time I was like, am I crazy? Is this really a good idea? Maybe I should just take my medications. Maybe I should just give in and do what the world tells me I should do, right? Like what's normal and expected, maybe I should just do that. But I held out. And again, when I went to school and I started studying mind body medicine, that's when I found the pieces that were missing. And I got into those root deep levels of my illness and healing those healed my body. So now fast forward to today.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:13:33]:
I work to help people shift their own paradigms around what is possible when it comes to health and healing and what illness really means. I like to think of illness as an invitation to exploring these deeper levels of who you are and what's really underneath making you misaligned, that's manifesting as illness. So when we get that diagnosis or when that symptom first emerges, it's almost like there's a path that emerges in front of us. There's two options. The first option is we continue down the path, the paradigm path, right? The one of familiarity, where we know who we are, we know how to show up, we know what to expect, we do what's expected of us, we do what's familiar. The problem with this path is that that is the path on which illness formed in the first place. So it's kind of like that thing of like insanity is the definition of doing the same thing over and expecting different results. If we continue on the same path, the path of that paradigm that created that illness in the first place, we're probably not going to find healing.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:14:35]:
We might find symptom relief. We might find good days intermixed with bad days. But oftentimes, what I have seen in the world that I work in, which is with folks who have chronic symptoms and chronic illnesses, that if we continue on that path, it's usually worsening of those symptoms over time and oftentimes new symptoms emerging. And so it is not a path to healing. It's a path of management and palliation, which is, again, if that's the path you want to be on, if you don't want to go on a different path, there's no problem with that path. There are very good medications and options out there to manage symptoms and to keep things fairly in line health wise. Sometimes not all the time for folks who want something else, right? Who really want to feel better and heal, not just feel better, because that paradigm path can provide that, but to heal on this deeper level, to really get into, why am I sick in the first place? What is my body trying to say to me? Where did this come from? What is happening inside of me that allowed this illness to show up in the first place? And this is beyond the typical definitions of, like, oh, it's genetics, or it's because you're a smoker, or it's because of this or that or the other thing. Because those things can very, like, if we keep saying, like a five year old would like, but why? But why? But why? Right? If we dig deeper into that, we really start to poke holes into that reason.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:16:00]:
Well, not everyone who's a smoker develops this disease. Not everyone who has this genetic predisposition sees it come to fruition in their lifetime. So what else is happening there that is causing this illness to form and to rise up in my body? And that's where we get into that deeper mind body work that I guide folks through, that I went through myself. So again, there's a lot of fear, there's a lot of challenges that come up on this different path. But ultimately, it is a path that is busting your paradigm, changing the way in which you're in relationship with illness and health and healing with your body, what it means to be sick in the first place. And it's leading you to something else. And so if it is something else that you are seeking, then changing your paradigm, changing your construct, the way that the world has taught you to think and behave and believe about how it works, then you can find yourself in pretty profound territory. And again, it's a hard journey because there's a lot of, like, wandering.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:17:01]:
It's like wandering into the desert and not quite knowing where you're going to come out or when you're going to find water or whatever that might be. But there is still a path. There's a trajectory, right? Again, it's like we know what to expect on this paradigm path. We don't know what to expect on this other path except that we know if we stick to it and we stay in tune with our intuition, we keep listening to ourselves, and we have the right guidance, we will come out on this other side a changed person. And that change we know is for the better. What it will look like, how it will shake out, we can't predict. And that's honestly part of the excitement, if we can get to that place of this other path, is that when we step out of a paradigm, we're basically saying, I'm shedding this old way of being in the world. It's not working for me.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:17:47]:
I don't know exactly where this is leading, but I just know it's going to be better. And so that is the motivation that is the inspiration to go on that new path, to go down that new trajectory, to bust out of the paradigm and to see what emerges on the other side. Thanks so much for tuning into another episode of the sacred illness podcast.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:18:08]:
If you find this information shared here, educational and inspirational, feel free to share it with those you think would benefit from this work.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:18:15]:
And if you're ready to bust out of your own paradigm around what is possible with health and healing, check out the sacred illness [email protected]. Community bye.
