Dr. Erin Hayford [00:00:02]:
So the big question is, we know spontaneous remissions and so called miracle cures exist. We also know they aren't so spontaneous after all. I'm living proof of this. Having cured my quote unquote incurable illness, there's something to how this happens. So how do we, as humans with chronic symptoms, tap into this so called miraculous healing capacity? That is the question, and this podcast.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:00:28]:
Will give you the answers.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:00:30]:
My name is Doctor Erin Hayford, and.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:00:32]:
Welcome to the Sacred Illness podcast. Before we begin today's episode, just my standard medical disclaimer. This podcast is intended for educational and informational purposes only. The content should not be considered a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:00:52]:
Regarding any medical condition concerns. Hey, everyone, and welcome back to the Sacred Illness podcast. Doctor Aaron here with Orianna. And we are excited today to talk about triggers in general. The chronic illness paradigm and the things that we talk about is really about looking at how we normally think of, you know, like, bad things or uncomfortable things and push them away, but instead looking at them as medicine, as opportunities for healing, as opportunities to actually go deeper into a place of relationship with yourself, understanding your body, and how it's the opportunity or door or gateway to better health, rather than the thing that's standing in your path. So I'm excited to get started today to talk about triggers and to delve into the science behind it and the more nuanced definition versus what we might think of triggers. And to take it from there, let's start there. Let's start with, what are triggers? When we get triggered, essentially what that means is we're having a big emotional reaction to something, right? Or an emotional reaction, I should say.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:01:58]:
And I was looking at. I was kind of thinking about this in the terms of the nervous system. And I think a lot of us are familiar with the fact that we have these three big responses, or fight, flight, freeze, right? Like when we get triggered or when we get activated, when we get stressed, we can move into one of these three areas. So when we get triggered, we often think that it's a lot of big anger, big feelings.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:02:20]:
But the reality is that we can.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:02:22]:
Also, if we're moving into freeze, for example, we can shut down, we can get really numb, we can feel brain fogged, we can feel confused or not know what to say, or we can want to leave, we can want to get up, we can want to move away from something. So it's not always this feeling of, I'm angry, I want to fight. That's more that fight response. Depending on who we are, we seem to have a preferred response mechanism. But I know personally, I have displayed all of those things I just mentioned in my own history of being triggered, which is long and plentiful. So it can really show up, I think, in any way. And it probably really depends on what that thing is that's triggering you. Again, just to reiterate that essentially, when we get triggered, there's some, usually external, but it can actually be internal as well.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:03:10]:
Some sort of stimulus that is making you feel uncomfortable. And it's putting your nervous system into a state of fight, flight, or freeze. The thing that is key to understand in this is what is that thing that's making me uncomfortable. And when we really start to dig into that, we understand the basics of the nervous system, which is that it is oriented for survival. The nervous system always wants to know, is this thing safe, or is it a threat? And so if our nervous system is picking up on something as a threat, then we're going to feel triggered, because it's trying to get us to respond to that thing, to get away from it, to either deal with it or get away from it, or whatever that is.
Oriana Broderick [00:03:50]:
It basically is a strong, negative emotional reaction to something that's happening in your current situation. But it's tied to some past trauma situation or something that you experienced that you didn't have the opportunity to fully go through the process of what gets you to that resting part of your nervous system. So your nervous system will get heightened to that place of flight or freeze, and then you'll come down off of that. And a lot of times, if we didn't have that natural progression of coming down into that resting place, into that calm place, then it'll show up again in another part of our life and create some sort of emotional reaction to a situation. And I think it can be something as small as a smell or a sound or even a temperature in a room can trigger it, depending on how extensive your background in trauma and things like that are.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:04:44]:
Absolutely, yeah. Yeah. And so that's a really good point, is essentially, the source of a trigger is going to be something that is picked up by our five senses, if it's external to us. So, um, I think a lot of times it's. It's kind of in an interrelational kind of setting. A lot of my triggers, when I think back, it's some sort of interaction I've had with someone that triggers me. But I think that's a really interesting nuance to add too, is we can get triggered by, like you said, smelling something, and we may not even recognize that we're getting triggered because it might be that really subtle reaction of, I suddenly feel really brain fogged, or I feel really out of my body, or I feel really tired. All of a sudden, it could be triggering a freeze response.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:05:22]:
And we don't even have that correlation because it's not this obvious. Well, this person said this thing, which was really offensive, so, you know, that's a more obvious trigger. So I think that's really a helpful point to bring into the conversation, that there's essentially a spectrum of how obvious and how easy to identify a trigger can be and how really nuanced and not obvious it can be. And triggers are happening in the present moment, but they are, like you said, pretty much always recalling something from the past. Certainly we can encounter a brand new situation that might be something we've never experienced before that can trigger us in the present and be just solely in the presentation. But more often than not, it is something that is reminiscent of something from our past, whether that's yesterday, five years ago, or most often than not, something in childhood that programmed our nervous system to say, this is not safe, so you need to get away from it. And as you also said, which is really important, is usually these things stick in our system because we were not able to navigate it effectively. When it happened.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:06:23]:
There was something about it that we felt stuck or felt powerless or felt incapable of dealing with or couldn't deal with for whatever reason. And so that thing gets stuck in our nervous system, and programs like this is a threat. Don't let this happen again. And that's where it continues to trigger us in the future, because basically our nervous system is saying, here's that thing again that you couldn't deal with. That's not good for you. That's not good for survival. Get away from it. So let's get into this.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:06:49]:
There's this other concept that I think is important, too, because we talk about this a lot in other podcasts and other contexts, but specifically in triggers. This is a quote from Gabor mate, who I'm sure a lot of our listeners know, but he's an amazing man. He writes a lot of amazing books that all should be read by everyone, everywhere. But he talks about how there's no such thing as a universal stressor. And this really helps to bring in, again, this nuance of our triggers are these unique experiences. They're unique to our history, to our childhood, to our environment, to whoever raised us. So I will be triggered by things that you won't be and vice versa. And that's where it can, I think, also get a little tricky, because I don't know if you've experienced this, but I know I've been in a situation where I'll get triggered by something or I'll get stressed or, like, I'll feel that activation in my system and I'll notice other people aren't.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:07:42]:
So that's almost an additional trigger, because I'm like, what's wrong with me? Why is this stressing me out? I shouldn't be feeling this way. And it can be one of the ways that we negate our feelings, because we're reacting and they're not. And I think this really helps us to start to look at triggers differently, where there's no right or wrong. You're not, like, odd person. If you're reacting to something and someone is not reacting to it, that really speaks to this reality that there is no universal trigger. Your triggers, whatever triggers you is going to be a very unique tapestry that is based on your experiences.
Oriana Broderick [00:08:15]:
Yes, 100%. Yeah. I mean, I, for whatever reason, I find myself around people, and maybe this is a thing that is being shown to me, but I find myself around people who either maybe don't understand what is happening, or they just have a calmer nervous system than I do. And so I'm going through something. And the good thing is, is that most of them at this point in my life, don't dismiss it. I have definitely had that throughout my life, though, where it's like, you're okay, you know, goes back to that thing we're in the history of time. Nobody ever told me I was okay, and I was actually okay. So, you know, that was.
Oriana Broderick [00:08:53]:
That made it really hard to go through. I feel like that makes it hard to go through the process of what it is that you need to get onto the other side of that trigger. And when somebody just says, you're okay, it's okay, we're okay, because you don't feel okay at all. Even if they do, you don't. And so at this point in my life, I don't find myself around too many people who feel that way. They usually. I mean, like, my husband will usually see it. He'll be able to see me, you know, get triggered because something will happen.
Oriana Broderick [00:09:20]:
I'll start shifting my seat, or, you know, something like that will happen, and he'll usually just put his hand on me. And so it's like this co regulation thing that happens because he is almost never triggered at the same time as I am.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:09:33]:
Yeah. Yeah. I have that experience with my partner, too. Like, he will not be triggered when I am, and vice versa, which is like, I guess, I mean, we certainly can be triggered at the same time. I shouldn't paint it that way. Like, that happens. But it's nice in those moments where, like, if you're having an experience, you know, it can be. It can kind of, like, make or break, you know, the situation for you.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:09:54]:
Like, you're saying, if they can see it and support it, it normalizes it for you. And that's some of giving you what you probably needed back when whatever that original source of the trigger was happening. It's giving you some of that space to be like, it's okay, I'm here. Have your feelings, right? Versus someone being like, what's wrong with you? Or like, like, everything's fine. Why are you overreacting? And I think something you said, too, made me think of how this also plays into how sensitive we are as individuals. And I think the more sensitive a person is on that energetic and emotional level, probably the more easily triggered we can be, depending on our history, because we're feeling things more deeply and we're seeing things more. Seeing the bigger picture in a lot of ways, or we're seeing things that other people are not. So I think that there's so many things that play into why and how people get triggered.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:10:43]:
So I think, really, the point of this section of the conversation is to start to really normalize. Really normalize. When your system is getting activated again, it's not a failure. It's not weird, it's not irrational. It's none of that. It's this information. It's this communication that's coming from your nervous system that's saying, I don't feel safe. And even though everyone else around me maybe feels totally different, that doesn't negate the fact that you have this specific makeup that's inside of you that's saying, I don't feel safe.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:11:14]:
Because the reality is that the more you ignore that or push that away, probably the less safe it's going to feel. Right? Imagine you're in a haunted house, and you're abandoned in this room, and all these ghosts and goblins are coming out and jumping at you, and you're like, it's fine. It's fine. It's not going to change the fact that there's these ghosts and goblins in the room. What's really going to make you feel safe is if you get what you need from that situation, which is maybe leaving it or having support in the room or whatever, but it's not going to change the fact that you're in a scary situation. I have terrible analogies sometimes, and I think that's one of them. But hopefully in some way, shape or form.
Oriana Broderick [00:11:47]:
I mean, it landed for me because I used to love. I used to love haunted houses. I don't. I mean, it's. This whole work within the nervous system and triggers is interesting to me for that reason, because of how much things have changed as my nervous system couldn't handle any more of the way that I was living, basically, because that's the message for my nervous system, is we can't handle this amount of stimulus anymore. And I was always had this influx of stimulus. I used to love haunted houses, and I was the person that would take everybody to the haunted house and they were like, you go first. You go first.
Oriana Broderick [00:12:19]:
And I'd be like, okay. And I'd be in the room laughing as people were jumping out and everyone else is terrified, running and, you know, whatever direction to get out, because that's what our nervous system is telling us. But a haunted house in itself is like, it's weird to choose that, right? Like you're choosing your nervous system to be activated in fight or flight. Your nervous system has absolutely no clue that the guy with the chainsaw actually isn't going to hurt you. Your nervous system thinks that it is, and that's why you go running and screaming. But for whatever reason, we choose to activate that part of our nervous system and then in situations where we're not choosing it, because I don't. If I think about it, I think I didn't necessarily feel bad after going to a haunted house where if I'm triggered in a situation that I didn't choose and I don't feel good and I'm not okay, and I, you know, want to run or fight or shut down, disassociate, whatever.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:13:18]:
Yep, that's the key. It felt good for your nervous system to have control over the activation that, you know, I think when we experience trauma as kids or live in chaotic situations or don't get our needs met or just whatever kind of form of activation we experienced in childhood, when we don't have control over that, we often like to find ways to have control. And I've seen that before when there's this pursuit of, I want to feel this huge feeling in my body and I want to be in control of it. That's one way we figure out how to take our power back about that. But then, like you said, when you don't have control, when it just happens to you, then that feels not good because it's kind of mirroring the childhood experience. And, you know, there's such an interesting spectrum, too, of, like I was saying earlier, our awareness of triggers and how we might pursue that activation. Because that the way I think of that is we, when we're, like, anticipating that something's going to happen, just because that's maybe what our childhood situation was or how life has been, it's almost like we want to get it over with. So then we pursue situations like that where it's like, okay, here's the activation.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:14:18]:
Great, now I don't have to wait for it. It's here, done, whatever. And then some of us do the opposite thing. We avoid it at all costs. We withdraw completely. We shut down, we cut off relationship. We way understimulate, try to really shut down the stimulation spectrum. And so I think there's like that, again, it just shows you that there's no universal way that we get triggered, and there's no universal way that we react to triggers.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:14:43]:
It's all kind of based on our history and just what feels safest to us based on kind of all the things that have happened. Um, and, you know, that's part of what I have seen with depression. Speaking of, like, that shutdown is like, it's a way that the body is trying to get away from. From too much stimulation. It's kind of like, we can't do this anymore. We, you know, you gotta shut down. You have to stop. You have to reassess what's going on.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:15:07]:
Cause, like, nothing feels safe right now in some way, shape, or form. And, you know, there's nuance to that as well. But that's some, like, a common thread I have seen in depression specifically. So before we started recording, we were talking about, like, things that have triggered us recently, because there's always a supply of those kinds of stories. And so I wanted to invite you to share the one that you shared, if you feel comfortable doing so. Because we want to kind of segue into this idea of when we are not aware of triggers, or we feel powerless to them, or we think of them as a bad thing. When we just get triggered and have a reaction and then move on, there's this, you know, again, it can be this relationship where it's like, oh, I hate triggers. I hate the things that trigger me because I feel out of control or I feel uncomfortable or I feel angry or whatever.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:15:52]:
You know, it just doesn't feel like a good relationship. And we've been talking about how, again, triggers can be used as medicine, but it all depends on our relationship with them. And so I think your recent example is a good example of that because of the work you've been doing. So I'll let you kind of share that situation with us.
Oriana Broderick [00:16:12]:
Okay. I want to say one thing before I start on that story. I think that everything that we're saying right now is the foundation of why it's important to understand what we're teaching within a sacred illness is there's a lot of unknown, there's a lot of no control when you get ill, when you start having symptoms, because it's, you know, we don't invite those. We're not. We don't making a plan to go to the haunted house of sickness, right. That just comes onto us because of trauma and things that we haven't dealt with and things we weren't able to deal with, depending on what type of support system we had. And so that's the whole point of this podcast and these classes that we're teaching in the community, is to show that you do have control, you do have power. This is a sacred message for you to listen to and that there is medicine and all of these things, triggers is just a piece of this puzzle that is for you.
Oriana Broderick [00:17:12]:
And if we can just switch that into that mindset of this is for me and not against me, then we can even just changing those words can start to make us feel more comfortable in the reasoning behind this and why we were sort of chosen to go through these things. And there is something on the other side of us. There is hope, there is healing, and we have to go through each one of these puzzle pieces, which then leads me into my story of this past weekend. I was supposed to go to a poetry reading. And the women that I'm supposed to go with are part of a sisterhood group that we have here in the town that I live in. And one of them has mast cell activation syndrome. And one of the things that she's severely allergic to are animals, pets, dogs specifically, from my example. It was raining really hard outside, and so they offered to drive, but part of the offering to drive was to wear clothes that were pet free.
Oriana Broderick [00:18:15]:
Well, I have three dogs and I have. It felt like I had no control over that. I don't. I'm not going to go to the store and buy new clothes from the store to go to this so that, you know, I can be pet free in that situation. And so there was obviously a trigger that happened. And my first instinct in that situation, because I've gone through all three of the different nervous system places, was to defend myself. So into that fight place, right? Like, my dogs are my world. And you know that at this point, I've known.
Oriana Broderick [00:18:51]:
I've known you long enough for you to know that. And so how would you expect me to be dog free? And rather than going to that place? Because I felt it come up. I was like, why do I even feel like I have to defend myself? And it came up that I have a deep wound of not belonging and not being accepted specifically in groups of women. And so a lot of old stuff started to come up from when I was bullied. I mean, and not just bullied from school years, but I mean, we were even bullied in our family. My uncle used to say the meanest stuff to us when we were growing up, you know, and now that I look back on it, there's a compassion towards it, because I understand that he felt that way about himself and he was projecting onto us, and it was always based off of the way we looked. Like, you have a big nose or you have big feet. And he would just go on and on about it.
Oriana Broderick [00:19:46]:
It wasn't just one thing. He would just go on and on about it. So all of these sort of things kind of flooded in, and I allowed myself to kind of. So instead of fighting and defending myself, I was like, what else can I do that's gonna make me feel comfortable? Because in general, I would do all of that and then probably go. So I would activate myself, activate everyone around me and then be in the presence. So then we could still be activated together. And so my first instinct was just, don't go. I didn't.
Oriana Broderick [00:20:21]:
I mean, I already didn't really want to go because I don't want to go sit in this little, like, tent while it's raining and freezing outside. I'm just like that in itself. And so it was almost like this happened so that I could allow myself and to be okay with myself saying, I'm not going to go, and I'm going to be okay with not going and be okay with not having to defend myself as well. There still is. I mean, we're in Monday now, and that was Saturday. And there's still a part of me that is kind of frustrated about it because I find myself always being, I guess for lack of better words, that people pleaser of, I'm going to make sure that you're comfortable because I understand your situations and I'm hyper vigilant. So when people talk to me about stuff, I hold on to it. So if somebody tells me I'm really allergic to something or I have a hard time with a certain light or noise, I go beyond that and make sure if I'm taking them somewhere or doing something with them that there isn't that type of light and there isn't that type of stuff going on where I don't feel like I receive the same treatment.
Oriana Broderick [00:21:33]:
And so how can I make that trigger for me versus being like, she triggered me and I'm no longer going to be in that situation or around those people anymore because of her, because that's not really what this is about. It is about me, and that's where the medicine of it comes in, is how can I feel within myself that I do belong and I am accepted anywhere and everywhere that I go? Because I'm just me and it's okay to just be me all the time. Even if somebody has something that they don't like about me or whatever, that actually has nothing to do with me and that it's not an unsafe situation for someone not to like you or for someone to not want to be around you for whatever the reasons are. So that's where my lane of medicine is now. I feel like where now I can start going down that road. And I feel like if that were to come up again, it would even be different where I would feel comfortable going, and I would feel comfortable, you know, driving myself or whatever it is that needed to happen.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:22:30]:
First thing I want to say to listeners is I want you to notice what's going on in your own mind and body right now. Some of you might be 100% like, yeah, I totally get that. I would feel the same way. That would trigger me, too. Some people might be like, why does that even matter? It doesn't seem like a big deal, right? So just really kind of stepping back from that and realizing this is what we're talking about. There's no universal trigger, right? Because as you heard Orianna talking, it goes back into these really specific events in her childhood and in her lifetime. And it really, I think the word that makes a lot of sense for this is like a mirror. That interaction with that woman mirrored really accurately the feelings and the situations that you had as a kid.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:23:11]:
Obviously not an exact to a task. And that's not. That's not the point. Like, trigger's not an exact replica. It can be, for sure. But usually it's like the same flavor. It brings up the same emotions. It brings up the same category of a trigger, like abandonment or something like that.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:23:26]:
And it can show up in a million ways. Right? So that's the first thing is, like, really feeling into, if you're resonating with it, if you're neutral, if you're feeling, meh, not so much. That's. That's the point, right? Is this can be different for everyone. Triggers, often, we have that initial reaction, like you said. Like, the initial reaction was you said you wanted to get mad at her. And so then working with, okay, here's my initial reaction. Here's what I want to do.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:23:48]:
But as we start to sit with triggers and understand them as, like, okay, time out, there's, you know, there's her side of it, there's my side of it. Then there's this trigger that exists between us because of our stories and our lives. What's mine? Like, what can I take from this and own? And one of the things I want to speak to is something you mentioned, which is essentially what we're now calling the fourth nervous system response, which is fawning. So there's fight, flight, freeze, and fawn fawning, which is, like, I think definitely my. Like, when I started reading about it, I was like, oh, yeah, that's me. Like, this is my. That's my definition. It's people pleasing, right? Like, it's.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:24:26]:
It's that idea of, like, okay, if this thing is unsafe, I'm going to do whatever I can to please it, to make it happy so that it doesn't hurt me anymore. And so your response in that way was like, it kind of started with fight, and then it was like, okay, I'll accommodate you. I just won't go. Or, like, you know, what can I do to make, like, I'm so sorry that I have dogs and that it's going to trigger your allergies. Like, what do I need to do to accommodate you? And it can go into this, like, kind of extreme reaction place where, you know, you're like, not that you. We were kind of joking before we started recording. Like, you'd have to have another house and another closet and, like, another whole wardrobe to, like, make this happen, right? Like, that would be obviously an extreme fond response, but, like, you know, all joking aside, like, it can. It is often very extreme in that way.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:25:11]:
Like, how can I completely abandon myself and my needs and my wants and my values to make you happy? Because it's so triggering for me to feel like I've disappointed someone or I'm not showing up for someone in the right way or I'm not making them happy or meeting their needs, basically, is what it comes down to. Um, so that is something, you know, that's just another response to be aware of. And that can be a major source of triggers, I think, especially for folks who find themselves in like, caretaker, caregiver, healing type professions. Like, we tend to have that caretaker obviously, like, Persona. And so I think fawning is a very common, like, trauma response and then trigger. Cause of a trigger. Like, when you feel like you're not meeting the needs of someone, it's providing you this opportunity to heal that wounded aspect of yourself and the real beauty with triggers. And I've been experiencing this as I, as I have moved through this work and done the kind of the formula, I guess, for lack of a better word, that we teach inside of our program.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:26:12]:
I'm not getting triggered nearly as much as I used to about things that would normally really bother me. I can see it. I can see things play out and then I'm like, oh, well, yeah, you can just kind of put it in a different place in your nervous system when you start to work through it because you're starting to heal. You're starting to heal. And by heal, I mean meet the needs of yourself. When you start to do this work, you start to say, like, what did I need in that situation as a kid? What do I need now as an adult to meet my needs? And how do I, how do I do that? What does it look like? What does it feel like? So, you know, and you said it perfectly, too. Like, it's, it's finding what really feels resonant because we can swing to this other side of like, well, I'm just going to shut down then. I'm just not going to go.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:26:54]:
And, like, that can be just as much of a wounded response as, like, I'm going to fight her. Like, it's finding that, like, what really actually feels nourishing for your soul. And then, as I was saying, the more you work with it and the more you meet your needs through this work, the less that trigger starts to trigger you because essentially what you're doing is you're neutralizing the threat. I think that's a big part of it is separating. Like, this has nothing to do with you. Like, that's her, that's her immune system, that's her health, that's her life, that's her, but it means nothing about you. It's like kind of detaching from it and like, not owning it, not taking it on, not feeling like your nervous system has to, like, deal with it in any way, shape or form, right? And that's not to say that there are sometimes threats that are truly threatening, right? Like, there's always nuance. There's always times where we truly do have to get away from something or deal with something.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:27:43]:
But a lot of these times, these triggers are more like meeting our own needs, taking care of ourselves. And so we move from this place of reacting to it, and then to instead this more like, embodied response, where when we are more embodied, we're more aware of where this is coming from, what we need. That's where we can make a decision of, like, what do I. How do I respond to this in a way that's truly in alignment with who I am and what I need and what I want. Like, I don't have to compromise myself, I don't have to belittle myself, I don't have to belittle my, my life or my, you know, my world in order to make anything, like, safer or better.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:28:25]:
Hi everyone. Doctor Aaron here. So by now you're starting to get an idea of some of what the sacred illness paradigm is all about. The sacred illness paradigm is all about this question of what is your illness inviting you to become? What is it that lies within each of us that allows some of us to acquire so called spontaneous healing or remissions? What is the key to unlocking that innate self healing capacity in each and every one of us? The sacred illness blueprint is something that I developed as a guide to help you walk through this process step by step to learn how to move deeper and deeper within yourself, to find these layers of dysregulation, of trauma, of limiting beliefs of things that you're holding within your system that are keeping you small, stuck and sick? Ultimately, if we ignore the mind body connection and are not exploring the ways in which our nervous system continues to be dysregulated or in a chronic state of activation and stress, any healing modality that we put into our body from the outside in is going to be less effective, if not effective at all. So if you are currently feeling stuck, lost, confused or disillusioned in your healing journey, feeling like you have tried so many things, you have tried so many modalities, you have worked with so many providers, and you're just not seeing the results you want, know that this is normal. And of course, you're not. Because this foundational mind body connection is often, if not always, missed in all of these modalities. And just like we can't build a house on top of sand, our healing cannot grow and blossom and be strong and successful if the foundation is not laid first.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:30:01]:
So rather than doing something different, but similar to everything you have tried before and expecting different results, I encourage you to consider doing something different altogether. This is where I invite you to explore the sacred illness group coaching program. This is a low cost monthly membership option that I have created. It's constantly open, constantly enrolling, where you can begin to explore this completely different way of engaging in your health, in your body, in your illness and in your healing process. What is provided inside this group coaching program is the blueprint that lays the foundation and lays the path out for you to follow, to begin to explore these deeper aspects of health, to truly get at the root of what is causing your illness and from there, allowing all other modalities to blossom so that you can actually start to see the changes and the healing take place in your body that you have been expecting and wanting all along. If you're ready and want to learn more, head on over to Aurora and at the top of the screen, click on group coaching where you can read all about it and become a member. Today. I can't wait to see you on the inside.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:31:03]:
And for now, let's get back to the podcast.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:31:10]:
You know, this may not resonate with everyone, but it's like I've kind of seen it happen where we are given the mirror, the trigger, the situation that we need to kind of like evolve through the next level or the next layer or whatever you want to call it. You know, these things show up for a reason where it's like this, you know, this belief, this way of being in the world, this way of thinking about yourself or relating to other people is holding you back. It's not, it's not conducive to you living the life. Especially when we try to start to like uplevel, like when we start to heal our health or when we start to like, I don't know, find a better relationship or find a better job or whatever. It's almost this, like this, like, okay, like let's do this. And in order for you to like get that relationship or get that job or to heal your body, these are the blocks you have to move through. Because if you believe that you are, I don't know, less than or like, not deserving or that people are going to abandon you, no matter what, like, you're going to attract the situations that are, you know, going to basically keep mirroring that. When we get sick, illness is not like a fluke.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:32:10]:
It's not just happening. It's not like random. It's not your body just suddenly deciding to not work, because that doesn't make any sense. Like, our bodies are biologically wired for survival. Everything they do is to keep you alive. And so when they start to, for lack of a better word, like malfunction, produce symptoms, it's because there's something in the mind body connection that is gumming up the works. There's something that's causing the nervous system to fire in such a way that healing actually cannot take place. So, for example, when we move into a stress response, fight, flight, freeze, fawn, our nervous system.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:32:49]:
Let's talk about the gut. Because I feel like so many people have gut symptoms, our nervous system shifts, literally puts blood away from the gut and puts it out into the extremities, into the heart and lungs. So we can like run or fight or deal with the threat, our gut actually shuts down completely. And so if we're chronically in this state of activation, where we're engaged in low self worth beliefs and feeling not good enough, and in situations that are not conducive to feeling like, empowered and good and safe, we're constantly in that state. Reactivity of there's a threat here, there's a threat here, there's a threat here, and we're dealing with it, but we're constantly in that defensive survival mode. And so our gut is literally just not going to work very good. So we're going to maybe have gas or bloating or constipation or even diarrhea sometimes. And so then what do we do? We start to take medication.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:33:36]:
What's a good example? I mean, everyone has IB's these days, so Ib's or Sibo, or Sibo, however people pronounce it, is a great example because there's motility issues involved in those conditions. And so we will throw motility agents at them, or we'll take herbs to suppress the gas, or we'll take medications to get things going, or, you know, laxatives or whatever. But essentially the actual machinery inside the body that makes the gut work is shut down. You know, it's almost like the machine itself is broken and we're manually forcing things through it. And it might work for a time, but if that nervous system is continually in that state of survival, eventually those medications are going to stop working, and we have to find new ones. And, you know, someone gets burnt out pushing something through the machine, someone else has to come on. Again, terrible analogy, but here we are. And so it is all always pushing you toward.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:34:26]:
You got to look deeper. You got to look into, why is this not working? And the symptoms are this blessing in disguise? Because they're saying, here's the red flag. Here's the really uncomfortable thing you can't ignore. You have a choice how you want to deal with it. Right. And I wrote that down as you were talking just now, too, about how essentially all of these things, symptoms, triggers, whatever you want to call it, a trigger and a symptom to me, are the same thing because they're both uncomfortable stabs in the side of something's happening here. Tune in. We have two basically big paths, how we can choose to respond.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:34:59]:
One is the same way that we normally do. So in that situation with the woman in your group, you could fight her. You know, you could get mad at her. You could yell at her. That would be maybe an older response that you would have. Or you could run away from it and never talk to her again. Right. Whatever that response is, you can do that.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:35:15]:
Or in this case of symptoms, we can deal with it in the way that we normally do, which is take medication and quiet it, suppress it. Kind of a similar energy where we're kind of fighting it or we're running away from it, or we're just essentially with anything uncomfortable. We're kind of culturally trained. Just deal with it. Get rid of it as soon as you can. Whether you're combating it and trying to kill it or essentially, or you're suppressing it or you're getting away from it, or you're just completely numbing out from it. I was thinking about this yesterday, actually, how our medical system mocks that fight or flight response because it's saying, we got to get away from this thing. It's bad.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:35:51]:
So when we do that, that's one path, right? And we're essentially reinforcing the fact that it's a threat. We're reinforcing, this is bad, this is bad, get rid of it, deal with it. And so we're confirming and validating the nervous system programming that was like, okay, yeah, that's what we thought. We thought it was a threat. That's why we responded this way. So we're going to keep responding that way. And like I said, with illness specifically, if we keep responding in the way of it being a threat, we're never going to heal. We're never going to get our nervous system to stop seeing it as a threat, to shift into a place of calm and rest and safety, which is where the gut is actually going to turn back online in that gut example.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:36:31]:
And if we continue to respond to a trigger with anger or pleasing or whatever, we're never going to really heal. Why that trigger is there in the first place and we're going to continue to be triggered by it. And so these are temporary fixes. And sure, they work in the moment. Like, we can feel satisfied when we tell someone off, I dealt with that person and whatever, but don't be surprised when it shows up again. And so then we just kind of are continuously again engaged in this way of life that just isn't great, right? It's not like a super positive life when we're constantly feeling combative or threatened or unsafe or triggered or, you know, it's just not the most conducive to, at the very least, living a life that feels happy and supportive. And so then the second path is to do something else, to decide a different way to decide, to respond. And that's what we're talking about.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:37:21]:
I think I quote this quote in everything I talk about, but it's that Viktor Frankl quote of between stimulus and response, we have a choice. And within that choice lies our freedom, and in this case, lies our health as well. So if we can feel that charge in our body or we can feel those symptoms or feel that discomfort, however it's showing up and can instead say, this is a gift, it's getting your attention for a reason. This is an opportunity for me to, instead of get away from it, to actually get closer to it, to try to understand it, to look at it, to get curious. And we typically don't know what that is like. We, you know, we are not trained, know how to look at things that are uncomfortable. We're trained to look away. So that's why we're here, right? You and I and this program and all the work that we're doing, because we're trying to help people learn how to turn toward instead of turning away.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:38:15]:
And you had mentioned how triggering this group is. And I think that's, it's medicine for you to be in a group of women because that is your, that is not your comfort zone at all. Going into that, pushing ourselves, pushing ourselves out of the comfort zone, finding that path in life of what do I really want? Okay, I want a group of female friends that sounds really uncomfortable, but yet I want it at the same time. So I'm going to go into this situation, I'm going to work with the triggers that come up, and I'm going to heal, and I'm going to heal all those reasons why women trigger me. I'm going to go outside of my comfort zone. And the gift at the end is that you will have either a really great group of friends and or you will have less reservations and blocks keeping you from pulling in nourishing, loving, comfortable female friendships. So it's win win no matter what you do. And that's true for health, too.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:39:03]:
When I started to tune in what's making my nervous system dysregulated, what's causing me to feel so triggered and so uncomfortable and so defensive and unsafe all the time, the symptoms just started to fade into the background because they didn't need to get my attention anymore. I was tuned in in a certain way. And then, you know, my health started to improve and my nervous system started to improve, and here we are. And obviously, I still have triggers, but I think it's because I'm paying attention now. My. My illness has stayed that big. It's been in remission for quite a while now. So it's almost like it doesn't.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:39:34]:
I don't need to get sick. To tune in.
Oriana Broderick [00:39:40]:
The part about health and triggers and how they go hand in hand, that is a big part of my journey, and I think it will be, and is for other people choosing this way to heal is that I didn't necessarily listen to them. I did allow them to just be something that was scary and move away from them in whatever way I could in those moments. And that was the reason why I started to have symptoms. My symptoms will flare up in certain situations where I know that I'm uncomfortable, and then I can use those as an excuse not to be in that situation versus allowing myself to be in that situation for a period of time to see what the healing is there and what the medicine is there, everything always felt unsafe to me. And so I could. There was a point in time where I felt like I had it under control because I was in control of everything around me, and I wouldn't put myself in situations that I didn't feel in control. And then it was like my symptoms were like, okay, we're not ever going to be able to just have control of everything if we want to move into spaces that feel more nourishing, to have more nourishing relationships, to have, you know, to experience life the way that I wanted to experience life, always having control of your life is not necessarily experiencing life, in my opinion. And so that idea of all of not having control, my nervous system is like, everything is dangerous.
Oriana Broderick [00:41:14]:
That's dangerous. That person, that person raising their voice, what's going on? And so it felt that way a lot of times where now I can find myself in a situation where I'm like, okay, we're not necessarily in danger right now, but we also know that we are capable of getting up and leaving. And so it's almost like telling that little girl who couldn't leave now. It's like giving her that tool, that tool of safety is, we don't have to run every single time, or we wouldn't even run every single time. We would just want to and then do nothing with it. We can look and see and observe the situation. If it's really unsafe, we actually have the ability to leave now. We are not stuck in any situation.
Oriana Broderick [00:41:57]:
We are in control of how we respond to this situation. It doesn't have to be holding on to whatever that really uncomfortable emotional feeling that floods in when the trigger happens. You don't have to, you know, push it down or behave in this really erratic way, having a response that makes sense to the situation for you. It doesn't. And it's not about making sense for everybody else because it's probably still not going to, regardless of the way that you do it. It's about you and feeling nourishing for you, which is that which goes back to the work of feel into your body and not allow your nervous system to say, we got to get out of here, run, fight, you know, shut down, whatever, and say, let's make a choice. That is a good response for us. You actually start to feel that healing.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:42:47]:
Happen when we are more often than not in a state of activation or work more in that survival mode more often than not, which is the definition of a dysregulated nervous system. We lose touch with our intuition, or it's harder to listen to it, or it's harder to discern when it's truly intuition or if it's survival patterns running the show. So, for those listening, by the time this podcast airs, we're going to have a class available for purchase, either one off or inside of the group coaching program, which we'll talk about in a second. But it's all about triggers. And one of the things that I was reading about and researching as I was creating this class is this idea of interoception. And so this is sort of a new and exciting concept inside of neuroscience. Because we're seeing how good we are at being connected to our bodies, listening to our bodies, and essentially sensing inward is what interoception is. Perception is looking out and seeing things outside of us, and interoception is sensing inside our body.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:43:45]:
And so the stronger our interoceptive capacity, the more oftentimes healthy our emotional regulation is. The more in touch we are with our emotions, the more in touch we are with our intuition. However, this can also go the wrong way. And I had said at the very beginning of the podcast how, you know, a trigger can come from the outside or it can come from the inside. And I think because we live in this world where symptoms are painted as a dangerous thing, when we have symptoms that and we are aware of them, we're feeling them in our body and we're experiencing them, that can become a source of a trigger, and that sensing of a symptom in our body, that's interoception. Because interoception is feeling what our internal organs are doing. We're feeling the activation of our nervous system. It's whatever is happening in your body, maybe feeling your heart race, feeling yourself getting clammy if you're nervous.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:44:39]:
All of that is considered interoception. And so that can be used beneficially by being in connection with your intuition and feeling your feelings and expressing yourself in a certain way. And it can also go again to the other end of the spectrum, where feeling your heart rate causes anxiety for whatever reason, or feeling your breath. I can't tell you how many times I've done breath work with people and they'll say, focusing on my breath makes me very anxious. And I think part of what is happening here, too, is the fact that our bodies become unsafe. In a lot of traumatic situations. It's not safe for us to have our feelings. It's not safe for us to feel things, or to express things that come naturally from internally sourced places like our authentic self.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:45:24]:
And so we can start to peg as threats, essentially. So then when they rise up inside of ourselves, either we start to shut it down so we don't even feel it at all, or we get triggered by it. So that would be an internal trigger. And again, symptoms, I think, just naturally trigger us because of the way we think about them, but they don't have to. That is, it's a program that we're running based on what we're told. But through the work that we teach, we can reprogram how we respond to symptoms, to emotions, to all of these things. And I think that is really almost like the biggest part of this work. It's like reclaiming what's going on inside your body, reconnecting with your intuition, with your emotions, with what your body's communicating with you and feeling it as this empowering conversation versus as a threat.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:46:14]:
And so, again, when we talk about triggers, it can be any, any spectrum. It can be me and my partner getting in a fight, or it can be the pain in my backs. The same work needs to be done, the same steps need to be taken in order for us to trace it back and say, where did I learn that this thing is a threat? Where did this thing happen? That took me away from my authentic, safe connection to my body, to myself, to my. Who I am and my right to be here and my right to show up in a certain way and to express certain things from myself. What took that from me? Where did that go off track? And how do I take that back in a way that's empowering, that's safe, that's intuitive. And one of the things that I've noticed is when we start to shift into that space, that intuitive, embodied worthiness, confidence, place, the reactions, become gentle. We become more gentle beings, because there's not that need to fight or to flight, which are pretty active, big energy responses or to please. It doesn't become charged with survival energy.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:47:19]:
When we take that charge out of it and we're in that space of calm, regulation, connection to ourselves, safety, it can be really gentle. And again, that's what I've been seeing in myself. When a trigger that or when a situation happens that would have maybe triggered me in the past, I can have this really gentle. It's almost like a releasing. It's like, okay, sure, great. Maybe a boundary is set, or I just don't respond. I can brush it off. Depending on the situation.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:47:44]:
It's like night and day. It's just a totally different body feel. And that's ultimately, again, what we're working toward is when we can reprogram and go in and heal and give these parts of ourselves what they need, the response is totally different. So that's the medicine of triggers, right? It's this opportunity. It's this uncomfortable thing saying, please tune in. There's a part of you that is wounded here. There's a part of you that feels like this is a threat because you didn't get what you needed back in the day. And when we don't get what we need, when our needs are not met, our survival is threatened.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:48:18]:
So this is scary. Please tune in. Please heal this. Pay attention. Don't turn away from it. And we really need to acknowledge here, this is hard. This is not easy work. That nervous system response is powerful.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:48:31]:
Fight or flight is powerful, right? Like, it's hard to ignore when your whole body is like, run, run, run. Or like fight, fight, fight, or whatever it is. That is a really hard thing to not go against, but to pause and say, I hear you, let's sit with this. You know, it's really hard to do that. So we're not asking you to, you know, just flip a switch and be like, I can do this. No big deal, right? Like, okay, I'll do it tomorrow. It takes time to be able to do this work. And so the sacred illness group coaching program is all about that.
Dr. Erin Hayford [00:49:03]:
It's all about helping you step by step, move into these places of discomfort, to start to change your paradigm, to start to change your relationship with things that are uncomfortable and in a safe way, learn how to have a different relationship with them. And so that's the, you know, the offering that we have. It moves us through this process with symptoms, with triggers, and it gets really into the childhood programming, which again, is where a lot of this stuff started to, you know, understand why it's there, what it's trying to teach you, and to start to see it as medicine. Thanks so much for tuning in to another episode of the sacred illness podcast. If you find this information shared here, inspirational and educational, please share it with those you think would benefit from this work. To take this work deeper yourself, check out our website, www.aurorasomatic.com, where you can explore our coaching community and course options. And don't forget to subscribe to this channel where new content is coming out all the time intended to inspire, awaken, and help you deepen your relationship with yourself, your life and your world. We'll see you next time.
