A Fresh Perspective on Resolutions
Do you create resolutions for the new year? I have been chatting with friends and clients about this and have been surprised to hear how many people don't. The majority of them said it's because they "don't stick to them anyway" - so if that's you, too, then you're in good company.
Spoiler alert (or maybe sigh of relief?): This blog is not about "5 ways to stick to your resolutions this year." Instead, I want to offer a fresh perspective on resolutions - so let's dig in!
So, generally speaking, a resolution is "a firm decision to do or not do something" (Oxford Dictionary). The subtext of this is that it is something that requires that dreaded word... willpower.
Aka restraint, self-control, discipline, resolve...
None of which are inherently bad, mind you, but these are absolutely things that a lot of (if not most of) us fail at maintaining, eventually.
Hence the "resolutions are pointless" mentality.
But what's really behind that?
It's truly fascinating to me how the principles and practice of mind-body medicine are applicable everywhere.
To me what practicing mind-body medicine means is to take a truly holistic approach to health and healing; to consider, of course, the mind and the body of the person, which includes - beyond physical symptoms - what a person thinks about themselves, the lens through which they see the world, the beliefs they hold about themselves and others, their happiness and general relationship with the full spectrum of emotions, and so forth.
It also includes the Spirit, the (emotional) heart, the environment in which the person grew up and now lives and thrives, the relationships and job(s) they have, how isolated or supported they are, and so, so much more.
So what does this have to do with resolutions?
This is where it gets interesting.
All of these things I just mentioned have to do with the subconscious mind, vs the conscious mind.
The conscious mind contains the things we are aware of, which include the thoughts and feelings that are apparent, memories, and awareness of ourselves and our environment in the present moment.
This is also the mind from which resolutions are made: We are consciously aware of the change we wish to make (such as the typical weight loss goal, new exercise regimen, or meeting some other measurable mark) and we create a plan of action to achieve this goal - again, from the conscious mind.
The problem is that any and all roadblocks we encounter in succeeding come from the subconscious mind.
And... this includes all forms of success, including embarking on a healing journey and achieving sustainable health and wellness.
Why?
The subconscious mind is where our limiting beliefs exist, where any and all emotions we don't allow ourselves to feel are dwelling, where the aspects of ourselves we have deemed shameful and not ok/ not enough have been suppressed...
In short, the subconscious is where all the layers exist that stand between us and our Authentic Selves.
And while our conscious mind is great at powering through things for a while (there's that willpower thing again)... eventually and inevitably, we will hit a snag in the road - a trigger, a challenge of some kind - that pings one of these subconscious aspects and brings everything to a dead halt.
For example: Let's say I want to move my body more frequently. According to a recent Forbes Health Poll, most resolutions fail after 3.74 months. So what's happening at that 3.74 mark?
Maybe I missed a day or two at the gym. Maybe I ask my loved ones if they see any difference in me since going to the gym and they say, "Not really." Maybe I am starting to look and feel better, and that unexpectedly creates a lot of discomfort in my body for various reasons. Any or all of these hypothetical situations are pinging one (or several) of my subconscious beliefs that might be something like:
"I am not enough."
"I am not lovable."
"I cannot succeed."
"I am a failure."
"I am unworthy (of happiness, of getting what I want, etc.)."
"I am inadequate."
And these beliefs cause us to - subconsciously - engage in self-sabotaging behaviors that inevitably thwart any and all progress, creating self-fulfilling prophecies failure, not enough-ness, being unsuccessful, unworthy, and beyond.
Phew.
THIS is why working with the subconscious mind through mind-body work is foundational and non-negotiable for anyone who wants to see lasting change in their lives.
