Who are you, really?

A core underpinning of my work revolves around this idea of the authentic self.

Recently, I taught a class on triggers—those uncomfortable emotional reactions we have to unpleasant events.

As we discussed in the class, aside from being uncomfortable, triggers are actually potent guides that help us gain clarity on beliefs or stories we might be holding on to that are out of alignment with our authentic selves.

As such, when worked with appropriately, they can help us peel back the layers that are keeping us stuck in unhelpful behaviors and limiting beliefs that are negatively impacting our lives, including our health.

[If you missed it and want to dive into this Masterclass, here's the link!]

During the class, one participant asked a great question, which to paraphrase was essentially: How do we truly know who the authentic self is? Isn't our "Self" just a product of the environment we grew up in?

This question got me thinking. While I have my own working definition and understanding of what and who the authentic self is, I realized that this concept is huge and likely has been explored and considered by many-a-human since the beginning of time.

As I began researching it, I found that I was correct. But generally, in everything that I read, there seemed to be a general agreement about who and what this authentic self is—which, to my satisfaction, aligned with my own definition:

The Authentic Self is who we came into the world being, before culture, parents/caretakers, friends, society, and beyond began to influence us—and, therefore, alter us.

Many things I read went on to discuss the idea of the soul; that is to say, our authentic self is really our soul that inhabits our physical body, and it is here with a great purpose and mission to fulfill.

And while this particular idea extends beyond the scope of this blog, the idea certainly aligns with my own belief systems and experiences as I have journeyed inward to uncover who I truly am.

Which brings me to the next aspect of the authentic self:

Although I didn't realize it while I was in the thick of it, the process of becoming myself was central to my healing journey.

Said another way, the healing journey might start out as one focused on symptom resolution, but over time essentially becomes a journey of finding and reclaiming one's self.

The reason for this is both simple in theory and complex in execution. Let me explain.

My definition of trauma is that it is anything that takes us away from our authentic self expression in order to get our needs met and/or to survive. 

As children, we have the obvious basic needs of food and shelter.

But we also have deep emotional needs that help us feel safe in the world; getting these needs met reinforces that we are connected to our human family.

We are animals of community, and feeling separated or having the threat of separation from our caretakers is extremely distressing–especially if we are too young to survive on our own. 

These emotional needs fall into five categories: love, attunement, trust, autonomy, and connection. How well they are met is most impactful during the ages of 0-7.

So let's look at an example of how this might play out:

If the need for autonomy is not met, this could look like a parent not respecting our individuality, our individual beliefs, ideas, thoughts, etc. 

This is considered a traumatic event, because we are not getting a foundational need met.

And in order to continue to receive love from our parent, in response to this unmet need, we likely let go of our individuality, our authentic beliefs, ideas, thoughts... and adopt those of our parent, or just suppress these aspects of ourselves all together in order to stay in their favor.

We learn how to cope with their reaction by altering who we are so that we stay safe.

And while these coping mechanisms served us then, they don't now. Instead, they actually keep the trauma alive in our bodies, which in turn make us—and keep us—sick.

The above is one of many, many examples of how we can adapt to our negative environments that is, at its core, an inauthentic way of showing up in the world. 

And when you pile on all the other ways in which our environments alter us and change us... the end result is a lot of beings who are feeling dissatisfied, depressed, and disillusioned as to what this life is all about.

Illness springs forth from this constant and continued separation from self—not only because the separation from self is keeping trauma alive in our bodies, which in turn keeps our nervous system in a constant state of activation—but also because, quite simply, we are exhausting ourselves.

It is exhausting to be someone we are not. 

This is why I founded the Sacred Illness™ methodology, because I know deeply from my own healing journey and those of countless patients and clients I've worked with that illness is not a curse, but a sacred invitation to reconnect back to our authentic selves .

We absolutely cannot heal if we are running off of old programming. Period. 

And illness is a sign that you are doing just that.

YOU ARE INVITED

The Sacred Illness™ Group Coaching Program is a blend of neuroscience, mind-body medicine, Somatic Experiencing®, and other holistic health practices that guide you through this process of peeling back the layers, de-programming, and de-conditioning in order to find yourself again (and release your illness and symptoms along the way).

Right now I am offering a 14-day free trial in the program.

This means you can access all aspects totally for free, check it out and see what you think. If you decide to continue on, your membership is only $37/ month and you can cancel at any time.

Here is the link to learn more and enroll!

I believe deeply that the radical changes we wish to see in the world begin with us radically changing what is happening within us, starting with our understanding of illness and discomfort. The more we can learn to reconnect to the wisdom of our bodies, tune into their sacred messages, and respond accordingly—the more we can reconnect with our communities and world at large, creating a safer, more peaceful, and more authentic way of being for all of us.

Thanks for being here - until next time,

Dr. Erin